Elc1013 Unit 1

ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Unit 1 Achieving an Academic Writing Style Learning Outcomes By the end of this unit, you should be able to: †¢ †¢ use appropriate language to demonstrate academic style in writing express ideas and views in tentative rather than assertive language where appropriate Introduction This unit is divided into three sections providing reference and practice material on various aspects of academic writing style. Section 1 Features of academic writing style Section 2 Improving the style of your writing Section 3 Hedging in academic writingReferencing note: This unit uses IEEE referencing style for all in-text referencing. Pre-Unit 1 IndiWork Activities Go to eLearn (http://elearn. elc. polyu. edu. hk/) and complete the Pre-Unit 1 IndiWork Activities. IndiWork 1 Academic Style Go to eLearn and complete the What is Academic Style? Activity. Section 1 The features of academic writing style What do you think are the differences between the essays that you wrote at secondary school and the essays that you will need to write at university? Make sure you think about style* when considering these differences. Style often refers to level of formality. For example when writing to a friend you would use an informal style.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 1 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 1 Reading How do the language choices in this first essay draft below create a non-academic / inappropriate style? Read the passage and identify (highlight / circle) the style problems. Note down your ideas at the end of the passage. Be prepared to share your observations with the rest of the class.How often do PolyU students use English outside the classroom? Because many people think PolyU students don’t use English much outside of class, I wanted to find out the answer to this question so I decided to do a survey. I worked out a questionnaire and then handed it out to lots of students from eight 5 departments. The students filled in the questionnaire and then gave it back to me. I did the survey in April 2011. A total of 707 students took part in the survey, which is a really huge sample. In fact, this is the biggest survey of its kind ever done in Hong Kong which is terrific!And when I got the questionnaires back, I looked closely at the data and put it into a number of figures. Grandparents Parents Domestic helper Social functions Brothers / sisters Situations Private tutors Restaurants / bars PolyU friends Part-time jobs Relatives Non- PolyU friends Overseas holidays 0 0. 5 1 1. 05 1. 32 1. 69 1. 95 1. 95 1. 99 2. 11 2. 12 2. 4 2. 45 2. 55 2. 72 1. 5 Mean 2 2. 5 3 Figure 1: Speaking in English outside university 10 The first area I’d like to look at is speaking in English. Basically, what I wanted to know was how ofte n students speak English outside the classroom.The questionnaire asked the students to say how often they use English when they talk to friends, parents etc. When they filled in the questionnaire, the students had to circle a number from 1 (never) to 6 (very often). If they circled 15 the numbers 1-3, it means that they don’t use English very much. If they circled the numbers 4-6, it means that they use English fairly often. As you can see, I’ve put all the data about speaking in English in Figure 1. Let’s now talk about the data in Figure 1. First and foremost, it’s crystal clear that students don’t have many opportunities to speak English outside the 20 classroom.You can tell this because all the means are under 3. 00. Clearly, PolyU students don’t have any need to speak to parents etc. in English. This is undoubtedly because their family members are Cantonese speakers.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 2 E LC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Obviously, there’s no point in speaking English when everyone can speak C a n t o n e s e . A s yo u c a n s e e , Po l y U s t u d e n t s n e v e r s p e a k t o t h e i r 25 grandparents in English.This is not surprising because, as we all know, old people in Hong Kong can’t speak English. That’s because the education system wasn’t very good in the past. But, you can see that there are a few situations (overseas holidays and so on) where students do get a golden opportunity to use their English, even though this is not really very often. In a 30 nutshell, then, the data in Figure 1 prove that PolyU students don’t speak English much outside the classroom. Note down the style problems you found in the box below. For each problem you identify, write an appropriate solution.Problem (inappropriate language) Solution (appropriate language) 1. 2 . 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 3 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Section 2 Improving the style of your writing In this section you will learn how to improve the style of your academic writing. Read through the following twelve subheadings and complete Activities 2 to 7. 1. Avoid informal verbs Use formal (i. e. ingle-word verbs) such as examine rather than phrasal / multi-word verbs such as look at. This report looks at ? [examines] ? the problem of juvenile delinquency. Hong Kong has got over ? [recovered from] ? the latest recession. University-linked companies have not taken off ? [been successful]? in recent years. Activity 2a Formal verbs Fill in the blanks with five of the following formal verbs. Make sure that you put the verbs into the correct form / tense. discover conduct fluctuate establish devi se increase investigate assist reduce discuss ) The team (came up with) _____________________ an imaginative solution to the problem. b) In this essay, I will (talk about) _____________________ the issue of genetic engineering. c) The study was (carried out) _____________________ between May and July 2012. d) A research associate was appointed to (help out) __________________ with the analysis of the data. e) Researchers (found out) __________________that the chiller was the source of the problem. 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Avoid Colloquial expressions Avoid informal or colloquial expressions such as a lot of in your written assignments. ? a lot of research ? a great deal of / a considerable amount of lots of studies ? numerous / a large number of / myriad / a plethora of a really interesting study ? very / extremely / particularly a bit disappointing ? somewhat / rather / fairly it is a must ? essential / necessary / crucial / vital 3. Avoid Cliches Cliches are expressions that have become overused. The expressions below are dull and unoriginal. In addition, the meaning of some cliches, such as ‘in a nut shell’, may not be clear to a global audience as the words and meaning may not be closely related.Avoid using them in your written work. ? ? ? hot topic heated debate last but not least every coin has two sides all in all as we all know first and foremost crystal clear golden opportunity In a nutshell†¦ financial tsunami a double-edged sword 4. Avoid vague, everyday language Avoid common, informal everyday words. Use more precise words instead. Adjectives Pollution has been a big ? [major] ? problem in Hong Kong in the past thirty years. The facilities in the lecture theatre are bad ? [inadequate]?. The students felt she was a good ? [organised / enthusiastic] ? instructor. Verbs Bonny got ? [obtained] ? er degree from the Hong Kong Polytechnic University. Chan [1] says ? [comments] ? that the English standard of students is improving. Others This issue has raised the attention of everyone ? [the public]. ? There are many things ? [elements] ? to a successful presentation. 5. Be objective As well as being impersonal, academic writing should be as objective as possible. Subjective and strongly emotional language should be avoided. Do not use words such as: fantastic, wonderful, lovely, absolutely, totally, terrific, excellent! Objectivity can also be boosted through hedging techniques (see section 3). English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 5 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 3 Academic style Change the underlined words in the following sentences to improve the style. a) The student did a presentation last week. c) The results of the survey were shockingly bad! e) Freedom of the Internet is a double edged sword. 6. Avoid Repetition Repeating the same words and phrases in your written assessments may make your work appear boring and unsophisticated to the reader.To make your writing more interesting, use appropriate synonyms. For example: findings inquiry ? ? results investigation appear argue ? ? seem contend b) It is a good essay. d) It was a poor presentation. f) The analysts obtained a lot of data. Tip: When using Microsoft Word, if you right click on a word it will give you a list of synonyms that you could use. Note that not all the words will be suitable to use in a particular sentence, so you should ensure that the alternative language choices convey the meaning you intend to express. Academic writing should be easy to follow. 7.Avoid contractions Avoid using contractions such as it’s and they’re in academic writing. won’t ? will not don’t ? do not I’ve ? I have It’s ? [It is] ? widely acknowledged that English plays an important role in Hong Kong’s business sector. 8. Avoid personal references Avoid directly referring to yourself as ‘I’ or ‘we’, or to the reader as ‘you’. Academic writers generally avoid using the personal pronoun ‘I’ because it makes their work seem too subjective. You can see the findings in Table 1. ? I have presented the findings in Table 1. ? As you can see, the findings are in Table 1. We can see the findings in Table 1. ? The findings are presented in Table 1. ? The passive voice is useful for this and achieves a more impersonal, action-focused style appropriate for academic writing.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 6 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) 9. Avoid informal sentence starters Starting sentences with And, Because, or But is considered poor style in academic writing. Use a more formal alternative instead. For example: And ? In addition, Apart from But ?However, Because ? Due to, This is because 10. Avoid rhetorical questions Avoid using rhetorical questions as they can make your writing appear unsophisticated. In my report, I will answer the following question: What are the causes of stress? ? This report examines the causes of stress. ? Whether exams cause stress is examined in this report. ? The above analysis concludes the first part of my essay regarding the problems of teenage drug abuse. Now, how about the solutions? ? The next part of my essay examines some solutions to teenage drug abuse. ? Activity 4 Academic styleImprove the style of the following sentences. a) Has China been af fected by the financial tsunami? She’d appear to be managing quite nicely. b) And it’s high time we started to think about the wealth gap. c) Some business leaders make some bad business decisions. 11. Avoid ‘Run-on’ expressions Limit the use of ‘run-on’ expressions such as etc. and and so on in academic writing. Use the term such as to inform the reader that not all possible examples are given. Professionals often need to write reports, memos etc. at work. ? Professionals often need to write documents such as reports and memos at work. ? 12.Use positive forms Avoid informal negative forms such as not much and not many. Use the positive (without ‘not’) forms little and few. Not much ? [Little] ? research has been conducted into job stress in universities. Not many ? [Few] ? studies have investigated Hong Kong society in the 19th century.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 7 ELC1013 English for Unive rsity Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 5 Academic style There are style errors in the sentence below. Identify the error and change the language to improve the style of the sentences.Then match the error to the style issues in the box below. Most sentences have more than one problem. emotional / subjective colloquial expressions vague/everyday cliche contraction / negativity personal reference sentence starter a) The problem of air pollution has become more and more serious in recent years. b) In the past decade, a lot of research has been done into indoor air quality. c) The results let everyone see that the quality of service in Hong Kong restaurants is bad. d) Hong Kong companies value employees who have good communication skills. ) And language policy in secondary schools has been a hot topic for many years. f) We all know that students learn better when they are taught in their mother tongue. g) The students didn’t e ncounter many problems finding good data for their project. h) Ensuring a big sample of subjects for a questionnaire survey is a must. i) j) Researchers got their data by doing telephone interviews. Tong’s [2] interpretation of the data is totally wrong.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 8 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 6 ReadingThe following essay is a more appropriately written academic essay than the draft analysed in Activity 1. Discuss with a partner the ways in which this passage is more academically appropriate than the earlier Activity 1 version. Students’ use of English outside university (A) This essay investigates the perceived problem of Hong Kong students’ lack of English use outside university. The data reported below were derived from a questionnaire survey of a substantial sample of first-year undergraduates from eight departme nts at the Hong Kong Polytechnic University. (B) The survey was conducted between 12 and 23 April 2011.The subjects completed the questionnaire during their English for University Studies classes under the supervision of a research assistant. A total of 1,283 questionnaires were distributed and 707 correctly completed copies were returned and subsequently analysed. The questionnaire required the respondents to indicate the frequency with which they speak, listen, read and write in English outside the formal setting of the English-medium classroom. (C) The first section of the questionnaire asked the subjects to indicate on a six-point scale how often they speak in English in a range of nonacademic situations.On the evidence of the findings presented in Figure 1, it would appear that tertiary students in Hong Kong generally have little need to speak in English outside the classroom. (D) The evidence suggests that undergraduates rarely communicate with their parents or grandparents in English. This finding is perhaps not surprising as census data indicate that the overwhelming majority of people in Hong Kong speak Cantonese [1]. In the intimate family domain, young people understandably have little need or desire to speak English, apart from special circumstances such as preparing for English language examinations. E) The results indicate that the situation in which tertiary students use English least is in interactions with their grandparents. When interpreting this finding, it is worth noting that recent surveys have revealed that English is less widely known among Hong Kong people in their sixties and seventies than among those in the 4060 and 20-40 age groups [2]. This largely stems from the fact that the provision of Englishmedium secondary education was limited in the 1940s and 1950s [3]. The majority of citizens in the 60-70 age group are likely to have received only a Chinese-medium primary education [4]. F) While the data in Figure 1 suggest that tertia ry students tend not to speak English very frequently outside class, there are apparently several situations where spoken English has some degree of importance in the subjects’ lives. As might be expected, the situation where the subjects need to speak the language most is on overseas holidays. As Cantonese is not widely spoken outside China, it is perhaps understandable that students need to communicate in English on trips to Europe, North America and other parts of Asia. (G) As noted above, students rarely talk to their immediate family members in English.However, it is interesting that some of the subjects apparently have some need to communicate with their relatives in English. One possible factor behind the use of English in this situation is that their relatives live in an Englishspeaking country. In the case of younger relatives (e. g. cousins), it is possible that they have no knowledge of Cantonese, while older relatives (e. g. uncles, aunts) may feel more comfortabl e using their adopted language.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 9 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 7Improving academic style Use the academic writing advice above to complete the following exercises. 1. Skim through the Activity 6 essay and find formal verbs with similar meanings to the following informal phrasal verbs. The paragraph is given in brackets to help you. filled in (B) handed out (B) ____________________ ____________________ looks into (A) ____________________ found out (E) ____________________ 2. Find words in the Activity 6 passage which have similar meanings to the following vague, everyday words: done (B) ____________________ later (B) ____________________ big (A) ____________________ got (A) ____________________ . To avoid repeating the words students and findings, the writer uses a number of synonyms. List the synonyms used. students: findings: _ __________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ 4. How does the writer avoid using informal negative forms? Underline one example in the passage in Paragraph D. 5. The draft that you read in Activity 1 included the following inappropriate sentences: This is not surprising because, as we all know, old people in Hong Kong can’t speak English.That’s because the education system wasn’t very good in the past. How does the writer revise this part of the report? ‘Li Wei falls to Hong Kong’ reproduced with kind permission of Li Wei  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 10 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 8 Writing This activity gives you the chance to apply the features of academic writing style covered so far. By being able to write in an appropriate academi c style, you will be more able to successfully complete assignments at university.Situation For a course that you have been doing at university, you have been researching whether the consumption of organic produce can affect the health of a population. You are also interested in whether a subject’s positive opinion of their well being* has an effect on their general level of health. The area that you are investigating for an assignment is whether Hong Kong subjects also feel better about themselves after consuming organic produce. In Table 1 below, the results of two surveys are presented.First, a large scale survey was conducted by Wallace and Welbeck [1] among 4619 students in the UK about consumption of organic produce and self health ratings. The questions were adapted by your group to survey 89 students in the Polytechnic University. In the survey, subjects were asked to say whether they felt the following illnesses would increase or decrease on a scale from 0 (increase a great deal) to 3 (no effect) to 6 (decrease a great deal) after the consumption of organic produce. XuanXuan 13’ reproduced with kind permission of Li Wei *Note: â€Å"well being† describes the state of feeling healthy and happyIn pairs, discuss the data in Table 1. How would you explain the findings? When you have completed your discussion, write a short text of 3 or 4 paragraphs in which you describe and discuss the data. Table 1: Reduction and increase of illnesses after consumption of organic produce Features Headaches Colds Coughs Aches and pains Skin complaints UK students 4. 9 3. 1 2. 2 4. 5 3. 4 Polytechnic University students 5. 5 4. 1 5. 4 3. 2 4. 5 Source: Figures for UK students from Wallace and Welbeck [1]  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 11 ELC1013 English for University StudiesUnit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Section 3 Hedging in academic writing One of the main problems in the Act ivity 1 text is the writer’s use of assertive (overly strong or sure) language when discussing the data. Examples of assertive language are highlighted below. Let’s now talk about the data in Figure 1. First and foremost, it’s crystal clear that students don’t have many opportunities to speak English outside the classroom. You can tell this because all the means are under 3. 00. Clearly, PolyU students don’t have any need to speak to parents, etc. n English. This is undoubtedly because their family members are Cantonese speakers. Obviously, there’s no point in speaking English when everyone can speak Cantonese. As you can see, PolyU students never speak to their grandparents in English. This is not surprising because, as we all know, old people in Hong Kong can’t speak English. That’s because the education system wasn’t very good in the past. You can see, though, that there are a few situations (overseas holidays and so on) where students do get a golden opportunity to use their English, even though this is not really very often.In a nutshell, then, the data in Figure 1 prove that PolyU students don’t speak English much outside the classroom. Expressing opinions or making claims in overly strong language leaves you open to attack by critical readers. Such statements will often be doubted by readers thereby reducing your power and authority as a writer. A reader who does not believe a writer will rarely read on. To avoid such a situation, when stating ideas or discussing data you should use tentative rather than assertive language. You should avoid expressions such as: clearly ndoubtedly obviously definitely without a doubt there is no doubt that certainly absolutely Be very careful about using words like always (very common in Chinese), never, every and all because these suggest absolute certainty, which is inappropriate, and often incorrect, in many situations. Compare the following sentenc es: 1. The Hong Kong economy will grow next year. (Too strong! The writer is open to criticism if the Hong Kong economy does not grow next year) 2. The Hong Kong economy might grow next year. (Ok. The writer is hedging by using the modal verb ‘might’) 3.Some economists believe the Hong Kong economy will grow next year. (Ok. The doubt is transferred to a third party (economists). This means that the readers' confidence in you is not reduced) Techniques used in the sentences two and three above are known as hedging.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 12 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Hedging Techniques Activity 6 illustrated a number of hedging techniques. These are summarised below: 1.Use hedging verbs The following ‘hedging’ verbs are often used in academic writing: suggest indicate estimate imply The results indicate that the situation in which te rtiary students use English least is in interactions with their grandparents. The verbs appear and seem are used to ‘distance’ the writer from the findings (and therefore avoid making a strong claim and be subject to criticism from readers). On the evidence of the findings presented in Figure 1, it would appear that tertiary students in Hong Kong generally have little need to speak in English outside the classroom.Note that the writer also ‘protects’ himself / herself by using the phrase on the evidence of. The following expressions are used in a similar way: according to, on the basis of, based on. 2. Use modal verbs Another way of appearing ‘confidently uncertain’ is to use modal verbs such as may, might and could. In the case of younger relatives, it is possible that they have no knowledge of Cantonese, while older relatives may feel more comfortable using their adopted language. 3. Use adverbs The following adverbs are often used when a wri ter wishes to express caution. robably apparently possibly seemingly perhaps presumably arguably conceivably This finding is perhaps not surprising as census data indicate that the overwhelming majority of people in Hong Kong speak Cantonese [1]. 4. Use adjectives Another technique is to use an adjective. probable possible arguable unlikely likely One possible factor behind the use of English in this situation is that their relatives live in an English-speaking country.  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 13 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) 5.Use nouns The following nouns are often used to hedge:: probability possibility evidence likelihood indication The evidence suggests that undergraduates rarely communicate with their parents or grandparents in English. 6. Softening generalisations There are several ways in which you can soften and hedge a generalisation. (i) Use the verb tend or the noun (have / be a) tendency (to). While the data in Figure 1 suggest that tertiary students tend not to speak English very frequently outside class, there are apparently several situations where spoken English has some degree of importance in the subjects’ lives. ii) Use an adverb such as: generally predominantly largely mainly primarily usually for the most part to a great extent This largely stems from the fact that the provision of English-medium secondary education was limited in the 1940s and 1950s [3]. (iii) Use a hedging expression such as most or the majority of. The majority of citizens in the 60-70 age group are likely to have received only a Chinesemedium primary education [4]. (iv) Identify exceptions by using expressions such as except for or with the exception of.In the intimate family domain, young people understandably have little need or desire to speak English, except for special circumstances such as preparing for English language examinations. 7. Avoid negative words You should also avoid direct, negative words such as lies, cheat, false, rubbish, cheap, useless and worst. Try to use cautious, indirect language when expressing negative ideas. Without a doubt, the worst aspect of Dr Wong’s teaching is the lack of feedback. ? Giving feedback is perhaps the least successful aspect of Dr Wong’s teaching.?The president told lies to the media during his rubbish handling of the crisis. ? The president may have misled the media during the less than satisfactory handling of the crisis. ?  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 14 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 9 Hedging Choose the most appropriate option below. a) Everybody knows / It is generally accepted that all / the majority of English people always / often fail to learn any language other than their own. ) Perhaps / clearly the world will / is like ly to face major / total environmental destruction in the next fifty years. c) Without a doubt / It is widely believed that assertive writing is never / unlikely to be positively regarded by most / all readers. Activities 10a and 10b gives you an opportunity to practise the hedging techniques outlined in Section 3. By being able to use hedging techniques while writing in an appropriate academic style, you will more be able to successfully complete assignments at university. Activity 10a WritingIn 2011, the English Language Centre of the Hong Kong Polytechnic University surveyed 978 Form 7 school leavers about their preferences when studying in higher education. A summary of the results is presented below. Table 1: First Choice of University Hong Kong University The Chinese University of Hong Kong Hong Kong University of Science and Technology The Hong Kong Polytechnic University City University of Hong Kong Hong Kong Baptist University The Open University of Hong Kong Lingnan Univer sity Hong Kong Shue Yan University 21% 17% 15% 14% 11% 11% 8% 7% 4% A pause for humanity 3’ reproduced with kind permission of Li Wei Read what the writer said about the reason why Hong Kong University and Chinese University were the most favoured. Note the underlined language. The survey results indicate that the preferred universities were Hong Kong University and Chinese University. A probable reason for this is their long history, and the preference of employers for employees who graduate from these institutions. Write two or three paragraphs giving possible reasons for the ranking of the other universities. Use the hedging techniques from Section 3. English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 15 ELC1013 English for University Studies Unit 1 – Achieving an Academic Writing Style (IEEE / Vancouver) Activity 10b Writing The school leavers were asked a similar question regarding their first choice of course when applying for University. Examine Table 2 below giving the results, and write two more paragraphs providing some possible explanations. Table 2: First choice of course when applying for University Engineering Law Nursing and Health Sciences Design Business Computing Textiles Construction Logistics Others 15% 4% 8% 12% 20% 15% 4% 7% 16% 5%Further Learning Materials Besides IndiWork, you are also strongly encouraged to complete the Further Learning Materials found at the end of each unit. By doing so, so will be able to perform better in this subject’s assessments. Go to eLearn (http://elearn. elc. polyu. edu. hk/) to complete the following activities. 1. Unit 1 Review of learning 2. Unit 1 Further Learning Materials  © English Language Centre, The Hong Kong Polytechnic University 16